delirious: (look up)
My arms hurt from this working out thing. Guh. But I think I have my deltoids back! If I ever have children I'm going to toss them in the pool every weekend.

To Do:
-more emails (damn)
-laundry (the dryer better be functional or I am going to be very unhappy. I leave fantastic voicemails sometimes.)
-make packing list
-call delta
-clear out fridge
-arrange ride to airport

This was an article i skimmed while on my phone the other day. It's a bit heavy to read, but I was thinking about how genetically engineered crops would affect us in the long run. I'm not totally paranoid, but I think would make great fiction if humans were unable to process the modified food. Although, from a biochemistry viewpoint that's kind of hard, unless you really fuck up the biochemistry of the active site. But you could digest it, but still not absorb the altered nutrients. So if it did happen, everyone would eventually die off except a bunch of mutants who will be the Noah's Ark of the new world! Clearly I've also just read The Passage by Justin Cronin, and it was great. Couldn't put it down once I got past the middle of the book, nearly killed my eyes, but I think I missed a lot of the great language by skimming for plot. Not sure if I want to read the huge book again. Maybe I will. I'm sad that I never got to find out what happened to Fenning. Clearly the human race survived to document the near annihilation, but the ending was a huge tease.


Jan. 13th, 2011 02:43 am
delirious: (no deal)
Is there a cause to depression? Can you blame something for causing depression? Can it be entirely due to environmental factors that triggered off the chemical inbalance in your neurochemistry? Is the chemical inbalance your fault? Do you need to be diagnosed by a professional to know what it is if you've always been acutely self-aware? Do you feel the need to validate the solution you've found? Do you think the problem has gone away after you've employed the solution? Can it be that it has completely disappeared, or will it creep up to haunt you during the dusky evenings, catching you vulnerable and unaware? Are you vulnerable and unaware? Can you be strong and aware all the damn time? Do you care about the answers to the above?

Do you feel alive? --Yes.

you are.

Apr. 30th, 2010 03:33 am
delirious: (whorl)
sometimes the strangest little things break your heart, even though you've known it all along. but you still let it get to you, you still let it hurt you. because you're ever so idealistic, you believe perhaps people change, perhaps the world will change. why do you care so much? you care so much because you do, even though you don't really know why, but you just do. you know it is not their fault, perhaps it is even written in the genetic code (written in destiny) that it is so, they can't help it, but you can't help it either, so what can you do, what can other people do? you just thought there would be respect but you have as much right to your opinion as they have their right to theirs. the world divided by miles and oceans even as you traverse it with wonders, desirable dream wings you soar with through the air. even as.

you live.

you breathe.

you are.
delirious: (breakable)
What does it mean to be truly nice? Is it consideration? Is it selflessness?

I don't think I can be capable of selflessness.
delirious: (Default)
I enjoy reading stories about death and the ghosts that come after, even though it makes me cry. I don't know why, even though in my dreams I don't ever want to die and fight it to the very end, the moment when I decide I've had enough and I wake up. I find representations of grief to be one of the most inspired and beautiful things, and when my heart aches more than the stinging slaps I lay on my thighs in order to bring myself back to reality, it's good.
delirious: (the present tense)
I think if people observed me for a moment, they'll find that I have maybe one good friend in university.

The games we play with each other - so many, too many, but all necessary. We never know who we'd need in the future, and who will judge you according to your past to make or break your future.
delirious: (the present tense)
I'm incapable of keeping an all-public journal after all... I suppose it's just part of my character to keep secrets. It's nice to be reckless once in a while, but the fact is that I am still responsible for the words I say.

I want to be a responsible person~ and I think that requires some courage to back it up. I tell people I like Kim Heechul because he's crazy, he's batshit, he does what he wants and does it fuck-all. But if I took the time to think about it, I'm envious of the way he manages to stay true to himself as much as he can when he's just 'another manufactured idol', even if his blog entries took two hours to write (because they all know how much power words can have).

What kind of power do my words hold?


The coffee cup that has cooled down
a little is like a merry-go-round
It mimics our inertia

Let's kiss one more time, and
expose your secret
Beyond your tongue and mine,
there's the truth...

kiss twice, kiss me deadly,

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