delirious: (scotch)
If there was anything I need to regret in this life, at all, one of the things I would put on the list would be the last semester of my undergraduate studies. It was the semester I did the best classes in my life - Japanese and Creative Writing - and I pass/failed both of them. I'm pretty sure I got an A or A- for both of them. I got a B and B- for my biochemistry classes because I was so burned out from all the studying and depressed that it wasn't what I wanted to do for life because it made me feel so stupid. I told myself I didn't care. But I guess I did care in the end, and have been regretting it ever since. If I hadn't pass/failed those two classes my cumulative GPA would look so much better because it dropped an entire point because all that counted that term were those two Bs. It is really not as if I've never gotten bad grades before, but I've never gotten bad grades when they mattered. Sure, grades don't define my everything, but they sure take the enjoyment out of being able to look back on school life and say yea, at least I aced my classes.

I just need to put it out there that there are things that I regret, even if I try to live life with no regrets. What is important right now is being able to move past that regret and turn it into a driving force. Yes, there was a blip. Excuses and explanations - they are different even though there is a thin line separating them both. It is important not to make excuses, it is alright to have an explanation. I need to know why and how it happened, and how not to let it happen again, learning from mistakes is not a trend I need to buck.


The coffee cup that has cooled down
a little is like a merry-go-round
It mimics our inertia

Let's kiss one more time, and
expose your secret
Beyond your tongue and mine,
there's the truth...

kiss twice, kiss me deadly,

January 2016

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