Jan. 27th, 2016 08:16 pm
delirious: (Default)


Jul. 3rd, 2014 10:20 am
delirious: (quirky)
 Things to be grateful for! 

not being alone when you wake up in the morning. 
delirious: (Default)
This isn’t necessarily something I keep secret, but it feels safest to discuss with other people who have had similar experiences. If it were so fucking easy to pull ourselves out of depressive episodes or anxiety spin-outs or OCD twitches simply with willpower, don’t you think we would? Going to the gym or yoga helps, of course it does, but the times when we’re feeling anxious or depressed are also the times when it’s most difficult to do it. (Even writing this, I can hear a chorus of voices in my head telling me that it’s difficult but not impossible, and if I really wanted to, I could or would.)


Jan. 21st, 2014 09:44 pm
delirious: (free)
I wish to set good intentions

to stay focused

when the mind wanders, to bring it back gently

be lucky, be thankful


and move forward
delirious: (Default)
okay, let's try this again.


Oct. 26th, 2012 06:48 am
delirious: (OMFG)
old male lab mice get seriously fat.

it was fascinating but also really gross.

knowing how adipose tissue looks like is a great motivation to stay fit, I tell you.
delirious: (leave it behind)
it's been a while since I posted, or wrote anything in a journal of sorts. it makes me wonder if I still can, if I'm alright with having a slice of myself on public display. what friends and strangers would think? talking to the air, in hopes someone might be listening? or to myself, and be surprised that someone is actually reading, after all?

it's all rather complicated, and simple, in the end.

just being.
delirious: (no deal)
So I was trying to find this paragraph in my copy of American Gods for the past few weeks, and then I stumbled across it. On a tshirt. I need this shirt, stat!

I can believe things that are true and I can believe things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not. I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and Marilyn Monroe and the Beatles and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen–I believe that people are perfectible, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones who look like wrinkledy lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women. I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone's ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline of good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state. I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste. I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like the Martians in War of The Worlds. I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman. I believe that mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumblebee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself. I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck. I believe that anyone who says that sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too. I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies too. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system. I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it.

-American Gods, Neil Gaiman


Jun. 5th, 2011 06:54 pm
delirious: (Default)
I feel like now I know acutely how anxiety feels, and it's not a good thing because when I realize I'm feeling anxious, I get even more anxious. But that's also negative thinking -- if I realize I'm anxious, then I can find ways to overcome it. It's just that finding ways seem so hard it makes me even more anxious --


It's just panic, it's just anxiety, deal with it.
delirious: (Default)

This article. Made me want to re-read Stone Butch Blues again.

Sometimes things just don't change no matter how progressive society thinks it has become.
delirious: (Default)
- soak rice in water for 15min
- boil rice in chicken stock and then let it simmer on low and stir until the rice grains are all puffy
- turn off the stove and let it stand for 15min
- reheat it and add water, stir stir until it becomes smooth


will come back after making it. hopefully with success.


So I have cooked rice.
Boil water, idk, liberal amounts, need to figure this out later.
Add chicken stock (1 cube for 1L of water, I absolutely have no idea how much water I have. Add half cube anyway, it's just one portion of rice.)
High heat, bring to boil, add rice, stir, bring to boil again.
Lower to medium heat (because low heat seems too low and does not even simmer) and simmer for 15-20minutes or until desired consistency is achieved.
Turn off stove and let stand for 15minutes
Reheat and add cooked chicken, then stir in beaten egg
Add pinch of salt?
Lower heat to medium and I'll see how it tastes like...

Very doubtful.
delirious: (whorl)
more food, because I started cooking. so this soy sauce chicken recipe of mine, which my grandma taught me, but I think I amped it up a notch unhealthy. if it were healthy in the first place...

4-6piece chicken thigh, cut up into bite size pieces
2 slices of ginger
3 small shallots, diced
3 cloves garlic, diced
3 tablespoons light soy sauce
1.5 tablespoons dark soy sauce
1 teaspoon or tablespoon sugar (I am very liberal. I love my food with sugar in it ._.)
1 tablespoon oyster sauce (optional? I think my lots of sugar! compensated for it)
1 tablespoon tapioca starch
2-3 tablespoons water (or however much you need)
cooking wine
pot with lid

1. mix soy sauces, sugar, oyster sauce, a little bit of water, in a bowl (the chicken will exude water when it's being cooked).
2. heat oil, fry ginger until golden brown, add garlic and shallots and fry till you smell it, add chicken and stir fry until chicken is almost cooked (mostly white on the outside, little pink)
3. add the soy sauce, suger, oyster sauce mix. stir well.
4. using the same bowl, dissolve tapioca starch in some water and add to chicken. stir well
5. add a dash of chinese cooking wine and cover for a couple of minutes.

I also dumped a couple of hard-boiled eggs into the pot after I added everything. After chicken is done I used the sauce to cook the eggs more. UGH TASTES LIKE HOME COOKED FOOD AND I AM HAPPY \O/
delirious: (OMFG)
I want this broccoli thing so badly right now, I'm looking up recipes for it T_T

Korean Broccoli

* 6 cups fresh broccoli florets
* 1 tablespoon rice vinegar
* 1 tablespoon honey
* 1 tablespoon sesame oil
* 1 tablespoon soy sauce (I use low sodium)
* 2 tablespoons fresh ginger (grated)
* 2 garlic cloves (minced)
* 2 tablespoons sesame seeds

Change Measurements: US | Metric


Prep Time: 10 mins

Total Time: 20 mins

1. 1 In a dry skillet, toast sesame seeds at medium heat until golden brown.
2. 2 Mix rice vinegar, sesame oil, soy sauce, ginger, garlic, and 1 tablespoon of the sesame seeds. Let stand.
3. 3 Steam broccoli until tender-crisp.
4. 4 Mix dressing and steamed broccoli, and top with remaining sesame seeds.
5. 5 Let stand at room temperature until served.
delirious: (look up)
My arms hurt from this working out thing. Guh. But I think I have my deltoids back! If I ever have children I'm going to toss them in the pool every weekend.

To Do:
-more emails (damn)
-laundry (the dryer better be functional or I am going to be very unhappy. I leave fantastic voicemails sometimes.)
-make packing list
-call delta
-clear out fridge
-arrange ride to airport

This was an article i skimmed while on my phone the other day. It's a bit heavy to read, but I was thinking about how genetically engineered crops would affect us in the long run. I'm not totally paranoid, but I think would make great fiction if humans were unable to process the modified food. Although, from a biochemistry viewpoint that's kind of hard, unless you really fuck up the biochemistry of the active site. But you could digest it, but still not absorb the altered nutrients. So if it did happen, everyone would eventually die off except a bunch of mutants who will be the Noah's Ark of the new world! Clearly I've also just read The Passage by Justin Cronin, and it was great. Couldn't put it down once I got past the middle of the book, nearly killed my eyes, but I think I missed a lot of the great language by skimming for plot. Not sure if I want to read the huge book again. Maybe I will. I'm sad that I never got to find out what happened to Fenning. Clearly the human race survived to document the near annihilation, but the ending was a huge tease.
delirious: (quirky)
"Do you know someone who needs hours alone every day? Who loves quiet conversations about feelings or ideas, and can give a dynamite presentation to a big audience, but seems awkward in groups and maladroit at small talk? Who has to be dragged to parties and then needs the rest of the day to recuperate? Who growls or scowls or grunts or winces when accosted with pleasantries by people who are just trying to be nice?"

Read this.

Might have cracked a rib laughing.

I can't really pick a favourite quote, but maybe because I've just finished season 1 of Dexter in three days, have this.

"Remember, someone you know, respect, and interact with every day is an introvert, and you are probably driving this person nuts. It pays to learn the warning signs."


"We can only dream that someday, when our condition is more widely understood, when perhaps an Introverts' Rights movement has blossomed and borne fruit, it will not be impolite to say "I'm an introvert. You are a wonderful person and I like you. But now please shush.""


Jan. 13th, 2011 02:43 am
delirious: (no deal)
Is there a cause to depression? Can you blame something for causing depression? Can it be entirely due to environmental factors that triggered off the chemical inbalance in your neurochemistry? Is the chemical inbalance your fault? Do you need to be diagnosed by a professional to know what it is if you've always been acutely self-aware? Do you feel the need to validate the solution you've found? Do you think the problem has gone away after you've employed the solution? Can it be that it has completely disappeared, or will it creep up to haunt you during the dusky evenings, catching you vulnerable and unaware? Are you vulnerable and unaware? Can you be strong and aware all the damn time? Do you care about the answers to the above?

Do you feel alive? --Yes.


The coffee cup that has cooled down
a little is like a merry-go-round
It mimics our inertia

Let's kiss one more time, and
expose your secret
Beyond your tongue and mine,
there's the truth...

kiss twice, kiss me deadly,

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