'no means no.'
Oct. 1st, 2009 12:59 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
deliriousDon't know how I ended up on this article, link clicking, probably? Wish I were more eloquent about things.
When (Rape) Fantasy Becomes Reality
The fact that she referred to it as "my dirty secret" makes me sadface. It may be your secret, but calling it "dirty" just goes to show some issues that she has not really accepted it herself. She does go on to prove that by saying she "dreaded" the talk of safewords and boundaries, and the point of her writing this article is to show that she learnt that lesson the hard way. The moral of the story? Always have that talk. I don't think she can be blamed for it unless she actively avoided the conversation by saying "let's not talk about it", and sharing intimate details of her fantasy does not in anyway mean he has permission to do it - the guy accusing her of "having asked for it" is the same as accusing girls who wear sexy, well-fitted clothes as asking to be raped. It's nice that girls wearing clothes that make them look good encourages guys to hit on them, if guys react to it and get turned down that's their problem - girls do not ask to get hit on whenever, and looking good like that doesn't mean she's easy. There's sexy, and then there's decency...
What could she have said that would have stopped him if there were no safewords nor prior discussion?
Not done reading this, but looks to be thought provoking. Roman Polanski Raped a child
Also because I've been getting emails from Planned Parenthood, Healthcare Reform - Abortion Coverage
Had a decaf cappuccino just now while I was with Kellie. Spent the entire time while I was drinking giving it the most aggrieved looks I could manage and going "I don't understand." in my head. Don't ever do decaf, guys. Came back and ordered books by Leslie Feinberg and Oliver Sacks off Amazon! Hopefully, I will actually read these books, since I read the blurbs/excerpts and have gone "Oh! Interesting!" instead of books everyone say are good and I should read but I never get around to finishing them..
Pro-choice, yo.
When (Rape) Fantasy Becomes Reality
The fact that she referred to it as "my dirty secret" makes me sadface. It may be your secret, but calling it "dirty" just goes to show some issues that she has not really accepted it herself. She does go on to prove that by saying she "dreaded" the talk of safewords and boundaries, and the point of her writing this article is to show that she learnt that lesson the hard way. The moral of the story? Always have that talk. I don't think she can be blamed for it unless she actively avoided the conversation by saying "let's not talk about it", and sharing intimate details of her fantasy does not in anyway mean he has permission to do it - the guy accusing her of "having asked for it" is the same as accusing girls who wear sexy, well-fitted clothes as asking to be raped. It's nice that girls wearing clothes that make them look good encourages guys to hit on them, if guys react to it and get turned down that's their problem - girls do not ask to get hit on whenever, and looking good like that doesn't mean she's easy. There's sexy, and then there's decency...
What could she have said that would have stopped him if there were no safewords nor prior discussion?
Not done reading this, but looks to be thought provoking. Roman Polanski Raped a child
Also because I've been getting emails from Planned Parenthood, Healthcare Reform - Abortion Coverage
Had a decaf cappuccino just now while I was with Kellie. Spent the entire time while I was drinking giving it the most aggrieved looks I could manage and going "I don't understand." in my head. Don't ever do decaf, guys. Came back and ordered books by Leslie Feinberg and Oliver Sacks off Amazon! Hopefully, I will actually read these books, since I read the blurbs/excerpts and have gone "Oh! Interesting!" instead of books everyone say are good and I should read but I never get around to finishing them..
Pro-choice, yo.
